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The Fear

It was my 23rd birthday today and to be honest it’s scaring the hell out of me. As I’m getting closer to the end of my bachelor degree I can feel “the fear” growing in me. something that I call graduation crisis. And the fact that I’m only getting my first university degree at this age doesn’t help at all. I started a Electrical Engineering BSc in Iran back in 2006, right after I finished high school. but after two years I realised I wasn’t enjoying it. Not only I didn’t like the university and the number of close minded people around me  I wasn’t even liking the course. So I made a big decision. I quit. I simply threw away two years of my life (no need to mention all the hard work I did to get into that university). I quit, not only from my course or my university but also from my country. And I started it all over again. Electronics and Computing Eng, was indeed a great choice of course and despite a few rather stupid decisions that our school made (which I believe happens everywhere) I did enjoy doing it. But now, all I’m thinking of is “what’s next?” . Now I do have a long term plan (dream?) and that is Silicon Valley. but it seems very far from me. Holding an Iranian passport does limit my options. I have a PhD offer but they want me to pay £48k for it while they’d pay a home student more than that to do the same research. I think I will have to reject the offer. I’ve applied for some summer, 12month internships as well as master degrees and I have no bloody clue what I will be doing next year.

I’ve been taken over by “the fear”.

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